Outpourings from my congested head
So much for March, huh? I feel very out of touch. Two colds in three weeks does that to a person, I guess. I'm so sick of feeling like Typhoid Mary at work and at home--I can only imagine the amount of time I've spent wiping down computers and telephones and doorknobs and faucets with disinfectant wipes. I'm trying desperately to avoid that moment when a coworker or family member assigns me the blame for "giving them" my cold (sorry--pet peeve of mine).
March statistics: Zero interviews, zero job offers. One grown-up, non-Great Clips haircut (expensive, doesn't look much like the picture I brought in, but at least it's shorter than what I had). One visit from Seattle friend. One visit by M. Defarge to his brother in Dallas (thankfully the visits coincided and no one tried to make me go to Texas). Several thirty-degrees-in-one-day temperature changes, most recently yesterday. No measurable snow that I can recall.
In other news, my cousin, who got married in July, is pregnant. Hurray for Catholic birth control! I haven't talked to her (although I did send a card, I swear), but I've gleaned through the family grapevine that there is copious vomiting. Because everything is about me, her pregnancy has given me the opportunity to do a status check on my own ambivalence about procreation. My initial reaction when I heard the news: Eww. Conclusion: Ambivalence intact; no babies needed.
My cousin is due in October, and I have to say I'm a little freaked out by the idea that she'll have a baby with her at Thanksgiving. She's the first one of the grandchildren to have one, and it just seems odd to me. For one thing, you know it's going to mess up the time-honored seating arrangement.
Again making this all about me, I see her pregnancy affecting me in one of two ways: Either her having a baby will take the pressure off me to have one, or everyone will think that since she has one, I should too. Realistically, I don't know that most people, family or otherwise, really put much thought into whether or not I should be procreating, but in my head they do, okay? For the most part my immediate family has left me alone, although my dad made a weird comment via e-mail recently. His sister died a few weeks ago (the mentally ill one; very long story), which means that his original family of six is down to two, and the other one is his dumbass AWOL park-ranger brother (another long story). So he sent me this e-mail that included a sentence about how he doesn't have much family left and that he's looking forward to our family growing in the next few years. To which I can only hope that he means my brother getting married, because I just can't handle the pressure of having to produce a new family for anyone, including myself.
I feel like I should come up with a catchy ending for this post, but I have to go to a staff meeting and give a "book talk" on why everyone should be recommending My French Whore by Gene Wilder (yes, that Gene Wilder). Which you should read, because it's short and funny and has whore in the title and was written by the original Willy Wonka. What more do you want from me?
March statistics: Zero interviews, zero job offers. One grown-up, non-Great Clips haircut (expensive, doesn't look much like the picture I brought in, but at least it's shorter than what I had). One visit from Seattle friend. One visit by M. Defarge to his brother in Dallas (thankfully the visits coincided and no one tried to make me go to Texas). Several thirty-degrees-in-one-day temperature changes, most recently yesterday. No measurable snow that I can recall.
In other news, my cousin, who got married in July, is pregnant. Hurray for Catholic birth control! I haven't talked to her (although I did send a card, I swear), but I've gleaned through the family grapevine that there is copious vomiting. Because everything is about me, her pregnancy has given me the opportunity to do a status check on my own ambivalence about procreation. My initial reaction when I heard the news: Eww. Conclusion: Ambivalence intact; no babies needed.
My cousin is due in October, and I have to say I'm a little freaked out by the idea that she'll have a baby with her at Thanksgiving. She's the first one of the grandchildren to have one, and it just seems odd to me. For one thing, you know it's going to mess up the time-honored seating arrangement.
Again making this all about me, I see her pregnancy affecting me in one of two ways: Either her having a baby will take the pressure off me to have one, or everyone will think that since she has one, I should too. Realistically, I don't know that most people, family or otherwise, really put much thought into whether or not I should be procreating, but in my head they do, okay? For the most part my immediate family has left me alone, although my dad made a weird comment via e-mail recently. His sister died a few weeks ago (the mentally ill one; very long story), which means that his original family of six is down to two, and the other one is his dumbass AWOL park-ranger brother (another long story). So he sent me this e-mail that included a sentence about how he doesn't have much family left and that he's looking forward to our family growing in the next few years. To which I can only hope that he means my brother getting married, because I just can't handle the pressure of having to produce a new family for anyone, including myself.
I feel like I should come up with a catchy ending for this post, but I have to go to a staff meeting and give a "book talk" on why everyone should be recommending My French Whore by Gene Wilder (yes, that Gene Wilder). Which you should read, because it's short and funny and has whore in the title and was written by the original Willy Wonka. What more do you want from me?
posted by Madame Defarge at 1:28 PM
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