I need a vocation!
As I've been pondering the big "what am I doing with my life" question, I keep coming back to this post on the Annoyed Librarian blog about the difference between a job and a vocation. Basically:
A job is just a piece of labor. It's something you do, either for pay or for free, but just because it needs to get done. A vocation is something else. Vocation derives from the Latin for a "summons" or a "call." A vocation is something you've been called to do, and it's of larger significance than just a job. This is why priests are called to a vocation, not a job. The vulgarians who changed "job training" into "vocational training" were just part of the silly trend to make things sound grander by adding syllables.
You don't do a job for the sake of doing the job. You do it either because it really needs to get done (e.g., unclogging a toilet), or because you're getting paid for it (e.g. discharging returned library books). But a vocation is different. A vocation is done for its own sake and for the enjoyment of it. If you derive a lot of pleasure from your job, or if you do things in your job you'd be doing anyway, or if you would miss it if you suddenly became financially independent and didn't have to work anymore, then your job shows signs of being a vocation for you.
My current jobs are just jobs. Not that I really expected them to be much more, considering that they're part-time and not particularly challenging. But the idea was that they'd be my entree into the library world, and hopefully to a career that I loved enough to consider it a vocation. So far, though, I'm still waiting to have one of those "this is exactly where I belong" moments. But does that mean that I'm in the wrong field, or just that being a part-time public library assistant isn't exactly what I'm looking for? That's the part I wish I could figure out.
As far as academic librarianship, my internship is my only real experience thus far, and I don't think it was enough to really draw any major conclusions. There were some days when I thought, "hey, this is really cool," but I didn't do a whole lot that could be compared to a regular librarian's job. That's why I approach the job postings with so much apprehension: If I were hired for any of them, would I like what I was doing? Would I be any good at it?
Obviously I'm not that old, but the fact that at 28 I'm already on my second career and have had 6 jobs in the 7 years since I graduated from college the first time is making me feel like I need to find something that I'll stick to. I'd really like a stable job for the foreseeable future. But precisely because I'm not that old, I feel like it needs to be something I'm really passionate about and committed to, because I really don't want to be tied to a career that I hate.
Am I radically overthinking this? The first time around, I don't think I went into the job search with so much trepidation--it was all desperation, baby. Now I'm desperate AND anxious.
That far-away, bad-hours, part-time job I interviewed for? They e-mailed me the following Monday and said they'd hired someone else. Then on Thursday they called and asked if I was "still interested in being considered for the position." I'm honestly not sure if that was a job offer or not. I was so annoyed that I just said no, I wasn't. I've applied for four full-time jobs with deadlines in the next week or two, so we'll see what happens next.
A job is just a piece of labor. It's something you do, either for pay or for free, but just because it needs to get done. A vocation is something else. Vocation derives from the Latin for a "summons" or a "call." A vocation is something you've been called to do, and it's of larger significance than just a job. This is why priests are called to a vocation, not a job. The vulgarians who changed "job training" into "vocational training" were just part of the silly trend to make things sound grander by adding syllables.
You don't do a job for the sake of doing the job. You do it either because it really needs to get done (e.g., unclogging a toilet), or because you're getting paid for it (e.g. discharging returned library books). But a vocation is different. A vocation is done for its own sake and for the enjoyment of it. If you derive a lot of pleasure from your job, or if you do things in your job you'd be doing anyway, or if you would miss it if you suddenly became financially independent and didn't have to work anymore, then your job shows signs of being a vocation for you.
My current jobs are just jobs. Not that I really expected them to be much more, considering that they're part-time and not particularly challenging. But the idea was that they'd be my entree into the library world, and hopefully to a career that I loved enough to consider it a vocation. So far, though, I'm still waiting to have one of those "this is exactly where I belong" moments. But does that mean that I'm in the wrong field, or just that being a part-time public library assistant isn't exactly what I'm looking for? That's the part I wish I could figure out.
As far as academic librarianship, my internship is my only real experience thus far, and I don't think it was enough to really draw any major conclusions. There were some days when I thought, "hey, this is really cool," but I didn't do a whole lot that could be compared to a regular librarian's job. That's why I approach the job postings with so much apprehension: If I were hired for any of them, would I like what I was doing? Would I be any good at it?
Obviously I'm not that old, but the fact that at 28 I'm already on my second career and have had 6 jobs in the 7 years since I graduated from college the first time is making me feel like I need to find something that I'll stick to. I'd really like a stable job for the foreseeable future. But precisely because I'm not that old, I feel like it needs to be something I'm really passionate about and committed to, because I really don't want to be tied to a career that I hate.
Am I radically overthinking this? The first time around, I don't think I went into the job search with so much trepidation--it was all desperation, baby. Now I'm desperate AND anxious.
That far-away, bad-hours, part-time job I interviewed for? They e-mailed me the following Monday and said they'd hired someone else. Then on Thursday they called and asked if I was "still interested in being considered for the position." I'm honestly not sure if that was a job offer or not. I was so annoyed that I just said no, I wasn't. I've applied for four full-time jobs with deadlines in the next week or two, so we'll see what happens next.
posted by Madame Defarge at 12:55 PM
2 Comments:
So any word yet on those other job applications?
I think you're being too hard on yourself. But I understand the frustration. It's difficult to say if the academic librarianship is the position for you as the experience of interning was inconclusive. However, outside of publishing, it seemed to be the realm that had the most interest and possibility for you, so I think you're headed in the right direction. The non-profit museum stuff sounded cool too. Honestly though, even if it doesn't turn out to be the perfect job, at least you tried. You switched professions to try your hand at something new, and that's admirable. If this doesn't work out, then you try something else. It may take 10 jobs or 20 jobs to find your vocation, and I see nothing wrong with that. You could be writing your novel in the meantime. Base it on your life; "I need a vocation" would make an excellent title. You truly have a talent for words.
I must insist, though, that a wonderful way to ponder your vocational woes would be to meet me in Europe this summer. Screw the weddings. Your brother will understand. I told Mike that, as corny as it sounds, I see this as an opportunity to find myself. I want to walk through the English countryside like Jane Austen, or get a cup of coffee in a cafe in Vienna. And maybe somewhere in there I'll be able to objectively look at my life and figure out what I want out of life and who the hell I am. I'm sure we could figure out your job along the way. =)
No word yet, but academic libraries are notoriously slow and bureaucratic, so I'm trying not to get discouraged.
Keep me posted as your itinerary for your Europe trip takes shape. If no one hires me by the summer, I may just say screw it, quit my part-time jobs, and flee the country. I'm sure M. Defarge wouldn't mind. :)
Post a Comment
<< Home