Bridesmaid fatigue
In early October I will be making my sixth appearance in bridesmaid regalia. After that, I think I'm going to declare a moratorium. I can't imagine anyone else would ask me, but I thought that after wedding no. 4 as well, and look how that worked out.
Wedding no. 6 is well into the planning stages, and I'm having trouble working up much enthusiasm. I'm trying to be generous, but things just seem to me to be getting a little out of hand. The bride is a dear, old friend of mine, but she's also a bit on the type-A side, and she has very definite ideas about how she wants things to be. This has now extended to the shower and bachelorette party.
If the operative word used to describe a certain wedding in the recent past was "unique," the word for this wedding is apparently "interactive." Not so much for the wedding itself, but definitely for the peripheral events. Perhaps having attended too many cookie-cutter bridal showers and bachelorette parties herself, the bride wants more than just cake and gifts on the one hand and bar-hopping on the other. Which I suppose I can understand. Her solution is to involve the guests in some sort of activity.
Last Monday morning I attended a meeting of the shower planning committee, which I discovered consisted of the maid of honor, me, the bride's mother, the bride, and the groom. They had already done some pre-meeting planning, including choosing a date. After a false start involving having a chef from a local cooking school come to the maid of honor's house to facilitate gourmet cupcake baking for 30-some people, we settled on a do-it-yourself wine tasting.
This morning I received an email from the bride, who has moved on to planning the bachelorette party. She wants us to rate a list of potential activities, including a sailing lesson, a cooking class, and a polo match (viewing one, that is; thankfully this is one of the less interactive options!).
Am I just being petty and resentful because I had one of the cake-and-gifts showers and was fine with it, or does this seem a little extreme? We've had our first string of three warm, sunny days in a row, leading me to be cautiously optimistic that summer may come after all, and suddenly I'm feeling like this summer is going to be so much work.
I must be getting too old for this. I think it's time to retire my satin pumps and strapless bra and stick to being just another guest. I've had my fill of this honor.
Wedding no. 6 is well into the planning stages, and I'm having trouble working up much enthusiasm. I'm trying to be generous, but things just seem to me to be getting a little out of hand. The bride is a dear, old friend of mine, but she's also a bit on the type-A side, and she has very definite ideas about how she wants things to be. This has now extended to the shower and bachelorette party.
If the operative word used to describe a certain wedding in the recent past was "unique," the word for this wedding is apparently "interactive." Not so much for the wedding itself, but definitely for the peripheral events. Perhaps having attended too many cookie-cutter bridal showers and bachelorette parties herself, the bride wants more than just cake and gifts on the one hand and bar-hopping on the other. Which I suppose I can understand. Her solution is to involve the guests in some sort of activity.
Last Monday morning I attended a meeting of the shower planning committee, which I discovered consisted of the maid of honor, me, the bride's mother, the bride, and the groom. They had already done some pre-meeting planning, including choosing a date. After a false start involving having a chef from a local cooking school come to the maid of honor's house to facilitate gourmet cupcake baking for 30-some people, we settled on a do-it-yourself wine tasting.
This morning I received an email from the bride, who has moved on to planning the bachelorette party. She wants us to rate a list of potential activities, including a sailing lesson, a cooking class, and a polo match (viewing one, that is; thankfully this is one of the less interactive options!).
Am I just being petty and resentful because I had one of the cake-and-gifts showers and was fine with it, or does this seem a little extreme? We've had our first string of three warm, sunny days in a row, leading me to be cautiously optimistic that summer may come after all, and suddenly I'm feeling like this summer is going to be so much work.
I must be getting too old for this. I think it's time to retire my satin pumps and strapless bra and stick to being just another guest. I've had my fill of this honor.
posted by Madame Defarge at 3:49 PM
2 Comments:
As I’ve wanted to respond to several of your posts, I feel it’s better to do so all in one. School is finally done, and aside from a writing seminar last week, I now have 5 uninterrupted weeks of doing nothing. No pressure, but I will be hanging on your every word.
Globalization: Two words - Lush and Pimms. Pimms and lemonade is like the English sangria. Very nice on a summer evening. I loved it when I had it there the first time, so much so that I had to buy a bottle and carry it home. I had to lug that thing around for 2 weeks and carefully pack it in my suitcase so as not to break the bottle. Once I got home, I saw it in the grocery store. I was pissed. Then there’s Lush, a funky bath products store. When I went to London five years ago, it was considered a rare thing. Now there’s one in every major city. We actually took pleasure on our last vacation in finding the Lush every where we went, our own “Where’s Waldo?”. Even Prague had one. It’s good to know when I want my hippie/yuppie bath salts that I can find them literally every where I go; however, it takes the charm out of something I thought was so unique. (Am I now reduced to using that word in italics now?)
On writing: I don’t know how much sunshine I have to blow up your skirt, but I’ll keep doing it as long as it takes. Linz, you are a fucking brilliant writer. I mean that sincerely. I know no one better at using words and capturing an experience. I don’t know how hard you have to work at it, but just based on your letters and your blogs, writing seems to come naturally to you. I fully support any attempt at new projects you take on - personally I think it’s what makes life more interesting – but I would definitely encourage you to get back into writing. I will be your number one fan, and I don’t mean in a creepy, lock you up in my house, break your ankles kind of way.
New projects are what keep me going most of the time. I swear if I don’t have a plan or something to work on, I don’t think I’d get up in the mornings. I’ve been off work for a week now, and I’ve already made two batches of homemade jam (peach/ginger and strawberry/rosemary – very yummy), tried half a dozen “healthy” recipes from food TV that were absolute disasters, and rearranged most of the items in my cabinets. When I think about all the stuff there is to do around the house, I don’t know how I had time for a job. But actually, the more I stay home, the more I want to get back to working on a project – learning piano, revising curriculum, taking up yoga or meditation, and there’s a whole stack of books next to my bed that I’ve been meaning to read. I hope I have the motivation to carry through with all of them.
Poised for flight: I find myself incredibly jealous of your relationship with your brother. Mostly, because I don’t think I’ve spent more than 5 minutes at a time talking with mine since I’ve lived at home. I hoped we’d be closer as we got older, but I still don’t have much to share with him. I suppose I need to make more of an effort. It’ll be said to see Aaron move away, I’m sure. How are your parents going to handle it? At least United is a hub in Chicago and Atlanta, so there should be plenty of cheap flights to and from (unless oil jumps to 300 dollars a barrel). Look online every day and if there’s a cheap last minute flight, snatch it up. If nothing else you can just stay in the airport and ride the escalators and eat pie for an hour and then come back.
Does this make me an adult?: Yes. Give the event the same thought and consideration she did. Not that I’m the poster child for moving on or anything. But still, I’m proud of you for making a step in the right direction.
Story of my life: I think everyone should have to do this as some point – give some kind of culminating presentation on their lives. It seems a good opportunity to evaluate what you’ve done and where you’re headed. Not for us, of course, as we’ve built these questions and evaluations into our daily mantras, but I can see it as being beneficial for others. But still, I think it would be awesome for you to do. I would sign up for that lecture and take copious notes.
Odd coincidence: I’ll have to put Darjeeling on my Netflix list. I should add you to my friends’ list so that I can see what else you’re watching.
Bridesmaid fatigue: Jesus, how many single friends do you still have? There is definitely a wedding – wear out factor. I know every bride should have the right to a shower and a bachelorette party, but honestly, they’re only as big of a deal as you want them to be. I think once you hit thirty, you should start to diminish their importance. After all, by this point you have most of your furniture and dishes, and everyone should be passed the bar hopping stage by now. The wine tasting actually sounds fun though, so long as I didn’t have to help plan anything or set things up. I don’t think I’d be up for sailing or polo, though. Good luck with number 6!
Now I feel really guilty for slacking from my writing project for a week and a half! I'm back with a vengeance, though; I promise.
Can I have your jam recipes? I'm on an anti-high fructose corn syrup frenzy, and jam is one of those tough ones to find. Also I'm tearing up the farmer's market these days buying produce. Might as well find something to do with it...
Post a Comment
<< Home