Soul-crushing jet lag

I cannot yet form coherent sentences (just ask my coworkers), but I hope to be able to in the next couple of days.

In preparation, here is your outline:

Day 1:

• Delayed flight
• Soul-crushing jet lag
• Shopping in Piccadilly/St. James areas
• St. James Park

Day 2:

• Globe theater tour
• Tate Modern
• Fruitless attempt to visit Borough Market (closed on Sundays)
• Imperial War Museum

Day 3:

• Tower of London
• Westminster Abbey
• Churchill Museum/Cabinet War Rooms
• Belgian beer-hall restaurant

Day 4:

• British Museum
• Cafe in the Crypt at St. Martin-in-the-Fields
• National Gallery
• Evensong at Westminster Abbey

Day 5:

• Eurostar to Paris
• Terrifying taxi ride
• Notre Dame
• Turned away from Sainte-Chappelle (closed for lunch, the bastards)
• Arc de Triomphe
• Walk down Champs Elysees
• Coffee in Tuileries Gardens
• Louvre
• Dinner at cute cafe with very helpful waiter
• Eiffel Tower (sort of)
• Eurostar back to London

Day 6:

• British Library
• St. Paul's Cathedral
• Tea in refectory at St. Paul's
• Double-billing of extremely long Rick Steves walking tours
• Pub no. 1
  
• King Lear at Globe Theater

Day 7:

• Walking tour of Cambridge
• More walking, also in Cambridge

Day 8:

• Buckingham Palace (changing of guard only)
• Borough Market, take 2
• Hyde Park
• Harrods
• Pub no. 2
  

Day 9:

• British Museum, again
• Flight home
• Soul-crushing sadness

Miscellaneous talking points:

• Mayonnaise--the national condiment? (Also, ham as health food.)
  
• French people--lovely in France, annoying outside France
• Public displays of affection
• Crappy microchip-less American credit cards

Expect a phone call soon.

Also, photos. I believe there are somewhere around 300. Many of tanks. Don't say I didn't warn you.