New(est) leaf
I have a love-hate relationship with New Year's resolutions. Up until last year, I religiously made an extensive list every Jan. 1 (at least 10) and reviewed them very seriously the following Jan. 1 to see how I'd fared. Generally I hadn't made much progress, which made it that much easier to come up with 10 new resolutions.
Last year, working at Evil Job and fed up with everything, I swore off resolutions altogether. That lasted about a week, and then I couldn't resist jotting down a short list on a Post-It note. Because I was in my office at Evil Job at the time, I wrote them in extreme shorthand, which meant that for the next 9 months or so, until I finally threw it out, I carried around in my purse a slip of yellow paper with the following notations: Job. Blog. 50 books. 5K.
Which, of course, translated to: Get a new (library) job. Start a blog. Read 50 books (as per the 50 books challenge making its way around the Internet at the time). Run a 5K.
For those of you keeping score at home, I got two new (part-time, library) jobs, inflicted myself onto the Internet via this forum, read 70 books (such an overachiever!), and bought some really expensive running shoes that I wear to walk the dog.
So this year, once again seeking employment and crabby about it, I swore off the resolutions again. And, predictably, this week I had a minor epiphany that resulted in a sort-of resolution. Thus far there's just one, and at this point there is no Post-It note. But that may come. Did I mention that I have also been known to make resolutions for Lent?
The unwritten resolution is thus: When at work, behave like I want to be there. And yeah, I know it's pathetic that I have to resolve to do this. But there you go. At this time last year, I had been recently referred to by my boss as "hostile." Was she psychotic? Yes. Did she have a point? Absolutely. At the time I justified it because I was changing careers and it didn't matter what they thought of me. Now, even though I'm hoping to move from the public to the academic sector, it does matter. Thus, the new, cheerful Madame Defarge. An oxymoron? We'll see.
I also just finished a self-help book on conducting an effective job search (which involves a lot of steps with names that are capitalized), so as painful as it will no doubt be, the new, cheerful Madame Defarge will also attempt to network, despite not believing that word should be used as a verb. So if you know anyone who works in an academic library (particularly if they are a Decision Maker [note capitalization]), please advise. God help us all.
Last year, working at Evil Job and fed up with everything, I swore off resolutions altogether. That lasted about a week, and then I couldn't resist jotting down a short list on a Post-It note. Because I was in my office at Evil Job at the time, I wrote them in extreme shorthand, which meant that for the next 9 months or so, until I finally threw it out, I carried around in my purse a slip of yellow paper with the following notations: Job. Blog. 50 books. 5K.
Which, of course, translated to: Get a new (library) job. Start a blog. Read 50 books (as per the 50 books challenge making its way around the Internet at the time). Run a 5K.
For those of you keeping score at home, I got two new (part-time, library) jobs, inflicted myself onto the Internet via this forum, read 70 books (such an overachiever!), and bought some really expensive running shoes that I wear to walk the dog.
So this year, once again seeking employment and crabby about it, I swore off the resolutions again. And, predictably, this week I had a minor epiphany that resulted in a sort-of resolution. Thus far there's just one, and at this point there is no Post-It note. But that may come. Did I mention that I have also been known to make resolutions for Lent?
The unwritten resolution is thus: When at work, behave like I want to be there. And yeah, I know it's pathetic that I have to resolve to do this. But there you go. At this time last year, I had been recently referred to by my boss as "hostile." Was she psychotic? Yes. Did she have a point? Absolutely. At the time I justified it because I was changing careers and it didn't matter what they thought of me. Now, even though I'm hoping to move from the public to the academic sector, it does matter. Thus, the new, cheerful Madame Defarge. An oxymoron? We'll see.
I also just finished a self-help book on conducting an effective job search (which involves a lot of steps with names that are capitalized), so as painful as it will no doubt be, the new, cheerful Madame Defarge will also attempt to network, despite not believing that word should be used as a verb. So if you know anyone who works in an academic library (particularly if they are a Decision Maker [note capitalization]), please advise. God help us all.
posted by Madame Defarge at 12:38 PM
1 Comments:
Number of diet books on my bookshelves: 7. Number of diet books I've read through completely: 0. I've thought about keeping a weight and alcohol journal like Bridget Jones, but the inevitable failure and depression that would ensue ensures I'll never begin.
I can relate to the resolutions dilemma. It seems like I'm always trying to become a better person; mentally, physically, socially, even environmentally. I buy vitamins, self-help books, diet books, workout tapes, cookbooks, even a sex book once. I am still not the person I want to be yet. And maybe I never will be. But I figure at least I'm trying.
One day last semester I was in the middle of one of my habitual bitch sessions, which as usual ended with me saying how I couldn't wait for the week to be over. My department head and resident mother hen, Dale, just listened patiently until it was over, then said to me, "You're wishing your life away." She made an excellent point. She said you have to learn to accept the kids you have. They're kids, they're going to fuck up. They're immature, but learn to accept that they are seeing things for the first time. Remember what that was like. Appreciate the fact that when you say Uranus, or they see Juliet's naked breast they're going to giggle and make jokes. If you can't find some enjoyment in all that, you'll be miserable.
So I'm trying. And I've found that when I just stop being disgusted with their behavior and the excuses, and the attitude, I can actually see some humor in it. So maybe that's the key. We don't have to always like what we do, but we need to learn to find the humor in it.
And if I see the Decision Maker, I'll let him know you're interested. If I can't get him though, would you be interested in the Decider? I heard his speech the other day, and I certainly found humor in that...
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