Like rabbits, I tell you

Ah, the holidays. Food and forced togetherness. We got a bit of a head start this weekend with the baptism of my cousin's new baby. I adore my family, and it was generally a good time, but things got a little weird. For one thing, M. Defarge and my sister-in-law were both completely crazy about the baby, practically wrestling over who got to hold it. My brother and I, much less interested, discussed the possibility of getting the two of them a baby to share and then going to a bar to watch baseball. However, I did eventually hold the kid, and she slept through it, so it wasn't overly traumatic for either of us.

My dad also broke the news that his younger brother and (pretty much) last living relative--the park ranger, also my godfather, for what it's worth--has apparently decided to pop the question to his girlfriend. His 30-year-old girlfriend. (My uncle is 47-ish.) And they want to have babies. I've never met this girl and I rarely see him (he came to my brother's wedding but I never actually encountered him), and anyway it's obviously none of my business. But I honestly find the whole thing creepy and a little offensive. I mean, we're the same age. Do I call her Aunt Katie?

Between my younger cousin having a baby and taking the whole thing completely in stride, my husband and sister-in-law itching to throw their hats in the ring, and my uncle suddenly preparing to enter the ranks of the child-bearing (never thought I'd write that sentence), I'm feeling a little seasick. Just where do I fit into this family picture? I think I may be the one behind the couch, in the fetal position.